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An Ornament of Healing, Forgiveness and Love ...
This little guy hoovers amongst the branches of my Christmas Tree during the holidays, then moves to various sunny locations throughout the rest of the year. He was gifted to me with a hug, one Mother's Day, from my ex-husband's, husband.
This sparkly bird represents healing, forgiveness and love that took the gift of time to sparkle.
It took me years to release pain and open my heart to forgiving myself and my kid's Dad in the loss of "the dream" of a marriage that would last "'till death do us part". For those who struggle with divorce and wonder if you will ever feel peace and happiness again ... give yourself some time. Time is a gift. Time does heal. But ... you have to want to heal ... and then do the work.
Part of the work has to do with forgiveness. It's a big deal. First of all, it's healing for you and it takes incredible courage and strength. Why did I have to forgive myself? I hung on to a vision that wasn't real. A vision that was planted in my head from the time I was a little girl. A vision that society wove in a very precise pattern. A vision that "the church" with rules, judgement and condemnation drew a very thick line in the depths of my soul. I processed, prayed, cried and finally embraced a new vision, that was true for me and ultimately brought the sparkle into my life.
My new vision acknowledged I was married to a gay man. We shared a life together for 22 years with our kids. We did our best and we made mistakes in how we handled this truth. So much of it was fear. Fear of being cast-out, unloved, laughed at, scoffed at ... for all of us. Society can be cruel. Church can be cruel. Judgement sucks. Especially when it swirls around your kids. My new vision let go of the old childhood dream of having to be married to be happy. I surrounded myself with compassionate, understanding friends and fambly who love without judgment. I let go of "the church", and let God's love and compassion, wisdom and light enfold me. In doing so, I had a new-found strength in acknowledging I can parent, work, socialize, and live happily as a single woman. My new vision saw clearly my ex-husband living happily with his husband - for 23 years now. It makes me smile ... as does the golden bird with a feather, nestled in my Christmas tree.
I'm grateful this is how my story unfolded. Not all are so fortunate, I realize that. Perhaps it will bring some hope for someone. A Course in Miracles says: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change."
It worked for me ... my miracle story ...
The sparkle and the blessings continue ...
May your Holiday and Christmas be filled with Peace.
(Read the Follow-Up Story Below ...)
A Christmas Note ...
Continuing the Christmas Story ...
A Miracle of Healing, Forgiveness and Love.
Before I shared and posted my feelings about the Little Bird in my Christmas tree to all of you, I thought it best to share with my ex-husband and his husband, so as not to throw them for a loop. [🙃]
I am sharing his reply to show the healing power of forgiveness and to give hope to those who need hope in their relationships.
The most important thing ... is to be true to yourself, hard as it may be. There is strength and peace in that, regardless of the response you get from others. Healthy boundaries are important and sometimes letting go of a relationship(s) is the kindest, most loving thing you can do for yourself ... even in the sorrow of loss.
Once again, I am fortunate my story has a positive outcome and I know with my whole heart, what a blessing it is. I am grateful for my faith ... God is always present ... in the darkness and the light, and the strength I have in the quiet, gentle knowing, I am never alone.
Here's to Hope and Love and Christmas Miracles.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!